british people are so fucking cute
they called christmas lights ‘fairy lights’
they called sweaters ‘jumpers’
sneakers are ‘trainers’
they say ‘you alright/you ok’ instead of ‘how are you’
fuck off you condescending twat
Most British sentence I’ve ever heard
- me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
- me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
This morning after I woke, I laid in bed and stared
at the ceiling for about thirty minutes, trying to
convince myself there was a reason to get up.
It was a fight, just to get my body to move,
because when my mind is going back and forth,
good vs bad, it almost paralyzes me. It’s like,
my whole body becomes numb and immune to
everything around me while inside my head there
is a war, a battle that I may never win. So I lay there,
almost lifeless as a dead body, “I have to get up.”
My body said yes, but my mind said no, slowly as
I could I got my feet on the floor but stared at the
wall some more. It took everything in me not to flop
back onto the pillow, only because the little voice
in my head was saying,
“there’s no use, why get up? This day is a waste,
your life is a waste.”
For a moment there, I almost let myself become
weightless and fall back into bed. Yet I knew
that’s what the demons wanted that haunt my head.
(sometimes it’s just getting up in the